Friday, October 27, 2006

Depressing As It Is....I'm Depressed

Below is my response to reading an article recommended on my favorite website Dooce. I don't normally write authors of articles, but I was inspired and I had to share it with someone that understood.

Please read the article before reading my response...
click here for article

I am a loyal reader of and in her post yesterday she noted your piece. She too suffers from debilitating do I.

I absolutely LOVED your story. You basically said all the things that I couldn't ever put into words about my own illness. Though I only sought out help for the first time about 8 years ago, in hindsight I realize it's a been a serious issue all of my life. Facing that fact was ten times harder than living that way.

I too hate the thought that I have to take pills on a daily basis to remain "normal," but by self-prescribing myself to stop taking the medications I realized how much better my life is with them.

Your mentioning the zoning out really caught me off guard because on some of my worst days that's what I do. I've never thought anything of it until now. When I was at home on bedrest with my now 2 year old daughter, I could lay there for hours and just stare out the window. I would lose all track of time and would forget to eat. I'd find myself showering at 4pm because I did nothing else but look out the window. I don't even recall that I was thinking of anything; a blank mind.

I still find myself doing that now and again, but for the most part I can recognize it and snap out of it.

Anxiety is truly apart of my everyday life and since I've acknowledged that, my depression has remained under some control. I started going to therapy in August as well, though it was something I imagined close to hell. I didn't want to go have a cry-fest, I was down enough! If I had known it would like it is, I would have been in therapy a long time ago. I walk out of each session feeling so happy and powerful...I'd sit there all day if I could!

My medications can only works so well...I have to help myself too. I can be a wuss and just take my pills and move on....but to take note of the situation and try my best to help it improve....that takes balls! I still have my bad days, but I'm learning to notice them coming! I've learned to remove myself from stressful situations by refusing to allow other people over power me.

I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Disorder as well, and without going into details I can now see how that certain moment in my life changed me forever...and sent me down a road that led me to where I am now.

I am so happy for you, that you're comfortable enough to talk about your inner most-self....because that's what it is! It's your mental world that you're sharing...and from what I've learned, sharing that part of myself with people can be scary! But I have since opened up a comfortable conversation and now a few of my friends have come to me saying that they've sought help because of ME and the fact that I talked about it and made them feel okay about getting help.

That alone is medication!


No comments: